Ellen DeGeneres' wittiest one-liners at the Oscars
Ellen DeGeneres brought the house down with her one-liners at the 2014 Oscars, gently teasing the starry guests as she roamed the aisles of the Dolby Theatre.
One of the funniest moments came when she ordered pizza and then tricked the delivery guy into coming out to the auditorium. The employee at Big Mama's & Papa's Pizzeria on Sunset Boulevard was apparently unaware that he'd have such a key role before a global audience of viewers.
The witty compere then went on to pass round Pharrell William's signature hat, for a tip. Looking for the multi-millionaire head of Miramax Harvey Weinstein she quipped that there was "no pressure" to give generously before the billion people watching.
We've rounded up the best of the rest of her jokes.
On the weather: "For those of you watching around the world, it's been a tough couple of days for us. It has been raining. We're fine. Thank you for your prayers."
Teasing June Squibb about her age: "June Squibb is nominated for Nebraska. At 84 she is the oldest nominee. She was wonderful in Nebraska. (Addressing June in a comically loud voice) I'M TELLING EVERYONE YOU WERE WONDERFUL IN NEBRASKA."
On Hollywood Narcissism: "I'm not saying movies are the most important thing in the world, because we all know the most important thing in the world is youth. But really, we know that the most important thing in life is love and friendship and family. And if people don't have those things, they usually get into show business. We are all one big, frightened family."
To Jennifer Lawrence, who tripped last year and stumbled on the way to this year's show: "Jennifer I am not going to bring up what happened last year when you fell...For those who don't know when Jennifer won last year she tripped on the way up. And when you fell getting out of the car tonight – no one needs to know that. If you win tonight, I think we should bring you the Oscar.I don't wanna risk it.'"
To Liza Minnelli: "The real Captain Phillips is here tonight and the real Philomena and one of the most impressive Liza Minnelli impersonators I've ever seen in my entire life. Good job sir. That is seriously impressive."
Pointing out that few of the actors went on to higher education: "Between all of the nominees here you've made 1,400 films and attended six years of college."
On Meryl Streep's multiple nominations: "Meryl has been nominated for an Oscar a total of 18 times. It sounds good but if you do the math between dresses, hair and make-up, that's hundreds of thousands of dollars. Simply put Meryl cannot afford to be nominated again."
To Jared Leto, joking about his feminine looks: "Win or lose you look beautiful. Cate you look beautiful and Sandy, but let's be honest, Jared Leto is the most beautiful of all. He's the prettiest. Boy is he pretty. Matthew McConaughey is also pretty but a rugged dirty pretty."